so full.....of emotion......

yea, right now im crying and the tears just keep coming..... i have no idea why.  Started out by telling my friend when i realized how sensitive i am.  Today at work, a guest had to stay a few extra nighte because of his wife who was in the hospital because her uterus split.  She's pregnant and i guess her condition not stable at the time and deciding whether to stay in our city or fly her home.  She calls back today to tell me that they will be leaving in a few days, i ask her if everythings alright and she tells me it is.  That was the point when a little thing like that made me want to cry, i was releived that everything was ok and i dont even know this person.

So here i am, typing out this blog and at the same time the tears just keep flowing out and i dont know why.

A month ago i watched "The Soloist" . By the end, when the credits were running i was crying and i kept crying.  I was sad that it is a reflection of what does and is happening in our society now even with all our advances in education and technology.  We still have so many people out on the street, with mental illness and i wont deny it even myself i look at them and then i look the other way.  I will now look at them different and realize that they dont even know the way they are sometimes.

Most of us are so absorbed in their own little world that they dont realized how good that they have it.  All they do is complain about not having enough of this, or needing more of something.  You see people living in a 3rd world country and the littlest thing will make them happy for a lifetime whilst we live here with the same thing and it probably wouldnt make any difference in the world.

I wish people wouldnt hide from reality, people need to watch the news they need to know how good they have it, how fortunate to be where they are at this place in time.  Appreciate the simple things in life, fresh air, a tree, that bird gliding in the air and most of all the people around you that complete your circle no matter how small or big it is......

hmmmmmm.......

So here i am, at work just remembering that i have a blog. Im pretty much always going through thoughts in my head and solving issues in there i guess. But here i am, work has become very unfulfilling and yet i am lazy to go out and find another one. Could it be that its only 10 minutes away from home? Could it be that im just enjoying my time when im not at work and i dont want to go hunting for that other job now? I think its a combination of everything. Till i find the motivation to find that job (must be before summer) i think this part of my life will be more fulfilled.

In the next few months ive also taken on house/pet sitting. One for 2 weeks and the other for a week and 2 days. It'll be a nice chance for me to get out and be on my own for a bit. I like "me" time as much as i love "friend" time.

So ive been single for about 3 months now, been searching here and there and just not been fruitful. I have met some good friends and i love my friends but for now, i've kind of given up on finding my special someone. Meeting people and being friends is good enough for now, its time for me to life for myself and to be there for my friends. A friend told me today, not to give my heart away so easily.... i know im a nice person and bad people will take every advantage of this if they can. I have learned a lot within my short lifetime and i know i still have even more to learn but i know when to say no and protect myself.

Waiting for summer to come along, long days of warm hot weather and being able to explore the beauty that is around me. All i can tell u that is im here on the west coast of North America and ive got so much beauty around me yet to discover......

So that may have been a random blog of thoughts but they are my thoughts, so :P

A new begginning.....

I know its been a while, its been a time of trial , a bit of frustration and now i've got a whole different outlook on life once again. Seems like life is challanging me every step of the way and i have learned to deal. Whether it my life, death or love, its all good, its all a learning experience.

Of course having friends help, close friends that ive only known recently. I am thankful for meeting all of the, without them i dont think i would have been able to or it would have been harder to get through this trying time. You live, you learn, and life goes on. Now life is exciting, im discovering things around me that i've never really discovered before. Meeting new people and learning about their lives and what are going through or what they have been through.

Having someone to love and to love you back is great and is what most people want. I know that there is that someone out there for me and all i have to do is be patient...... at the same time i must live my life to the fullest :) .

From my last blog, this wanting slowly disappated and to have wanted was a wonderful feeling. Knowing that i am wanted to is also a wonderful feeling, not always the right people but hey, u cant always get what you want.

Once you get past these barriers, this big thick wall lifts from all around you and you gain a brand new kind of confidence. Ive never had this sort of confidence before and am going to embrace it.

Life is good.......

Life is definately what you make of it.......